Mens 1s back to winning ways

The team talk this week was without the detailed pin point positioning on the whiteboard led by the missing Captain Nick (Mum), nor was it with the 3 points on how we will win this game Jonny (Dad). Therefore, "irresponsible" Uncle Stevie was, for the first time this season, given a job to do.
Words in the changing room:
Craig Duffy - "I am using Euan's stick because I can throw better aerials with it".
Dan Clarke - "I wonder how much time Tim is going spend rolling on the floor this game" - Tim's reply - "It's called gamesmanship".

Onto the pitch:
As usual Stevie delegates his only real job of running the wam-up off to someone else. After a short warm up that of course included Davison and Mullen spending the 15 minutes napping on the sideline “stretching” whilst 3 others were the only ones involved in a series of one 3 man weave attempts.
Game time:
JPC were quickly on top in possession in the opening minutes of the game. Comfortably passing the ball around and creating several good chances. Duffy was correct in the fact that his new stick helped him to aerial 2m away from him, double the usual 1m in previous games. Other notable facts early on: Craig decided he had enough of Davison (Riise) and this then turned into what only can be described similar to his namesake “Bellamy” in wanting his own teammate out the game. Here the infamous stick caused a ball to fly into the air claiming Davison’s stick and thumb before popping into the air - Joe Root (who was found to be one of the 60 in the stands) was disgusted with himself for not placing a silly point in position.
Despite Bellamy’s attempts Davison took some of ‘Mathers’ spirit with him and carried on one handed (no change there).
Tim, the astute fellow that he is, recognised Joe Root, the new England Cricket Captain, in the stands a saw this game as a selection trial for the next set of test matches. In due fashion, he planted a fine long barrier to prevent Newcastle entering the D. In cricket this would be seen as marvelous fielding, especially by Root. Though, similar to the Author writing this match report, Tim was confused about the sport he was meant to be playing. He was rewarded with a green card. Back in the day green cards were not sin bins, and so again Tim was initially a bit stumped.
Minutes later due to a lot of pressure from JPC, a few brilliant passes led to Stevie and Davison combining at the top of the D before Davison slotted the ball home. 1-0.
Several more attempts came and JPC failed to add to their tally. Cockers missed an open goal only to say “I didn’t want it to be too easy”. He’s been watching Duffy too much this season, hopefully he won’t join him in attacking his own teammates too.
On a rare occasion JPC lost possession and a tasty run from a Uni lad led him to the top left of the D before he reverse hit the ball into the top right corner to what could only be described at teas as “the best goal ever scored against us”. I blame Cockers for not “wanting it too easy”.
One of the final memorable moments in the first half was when captain Stevie had enough of the physical game to re-position his hair net. Not only did this delay the whole game as he was standing on the ball but he was duly fined 23 times for each of the other 21 players he delayed and the 2 umpires.
Half time arrived and although JPC got their act together and had a few more good chances, 1-1 was the score at 35 minutes.
Half time teamtalk: No 3 key points from the keeper - why not Rammers?
Thankfully Stevie couldn’t get a word in edgeways as Tim and Si barked out how well we were doing and how we needed to continue exactly the same.
Second half:
And so we did continue similarly to the first half. Keeping much of the possession and a vast majority of the chances it was only time before Tom (who had an outstanding game) charged down the wing from right back to crack a beautiful ball across the D for Stevie to connect sweetly with to take us up 2-1. This reflected many scenes when another Stevie took Liverpool from the depths of mediocrity to a little bit better. It is a shame his hair cut is more like the Liverpool flop Andy Carroll.
Possession swung both ways and both teams had good chances to score. Great team pressure from JPC, especially from the front 3 Cockers, Davison and Duffy whose opposite numbers were having nightmares as a result, led to Clarke claiming a loose ball before feeding Davison to round the keeper and score his 2nd and ease the pressure a lot. 3 -1 JPC.
Incredible defending from Tom, Si, Mullen and George throughout the game continued to block Newcastle causing any serious threat. This until Si and Mullen seemed to have a momentary lapse in concentration to move from being in possession of the ball to looking up and appealing to the umpire (I think to show off to Root again), before losing the ball they had and conceding a short corner - umpired deemed it “Not Out”. Newcastle hit the bar with a drag flick. Let off.
With minutes to go, Newcastle gained another short corner as the pressed way up the pitch. This led to another drag flick. Yet Tim Davies selection trial was not over. With the ball flying at pace at what seemed to be a beamer of a shot into the goal, Davies hooked the ball over the square leg umpire for four. Following a mighty gasp and awe from all the players and the 60 in the stands including that man Root, it’s never too late for a debut.
Davies dropped to his knees and celebrated like Nadal beating Federer in the 2008 Wimbledon Final. Pumping his fists with a smile no one at JPC has ever seen before as he accepted the applause. Also those in the stands were Tim’s parents and ever loyal boys, and Tim (like Nadal) was just about climb into Royal Box to greet them before he was quickly reminded we still had 3 minutes left.
All in all - a great performance from all of the XI. Solid back four, with Tom narrowly missing out on MoM to our newest member Cockers. Well done both of you. A special credit has to go to Davison who remained on the field to keep us with 11 men and scored a couple of important goals. Rammers also played a key part as he made some fine saves at 1-0 and 2-1 to keep us ahead.